Keith Haring Journals: Art as doubt.

APRIL 29, 1977: PITTSBURGH
This is a blue moment . . . it’s blue because I’m confused, again; or should I say “still”? I don’t know what I want or how to get it. I act like I know what I want, and I appear to be going after it—fast, but I don’t, when it comes down to it, even know. I guess it’s be-cause I’m afraid. Afraid I’m wrong. And I guess I’m afraid I’m wrong, because I constantly relate myself to other people, other experiences, other ideas. I should be looking at both in perspec-tive, not comparing. I relate my life to an idea or an example that is some entirely different life. I should be relating it to my life only in the sense that each has good and bad facets. Each is separate. The only way the other attained enough merit, making it worthy of my admiration, or long to copy it is by taking chances, taking it in its own way. It has grown with different situations and has dis-covered different heights of happiness and equal sorrows. If I always seek to pattern my life after another, mine is heiii wasted re-doing things for my own empty acceptance. But 17f A I live my life my way and only let the ot her [artists] inth,„ rice me as a reference, a starting point, I can build an even higher awareness instead of staying dormant. If I can take this and apply it, it will help, but again I am afraid. Afraid I’ll just ig. fore this whole revelation and remain in the rut and ratio-nalize and call it human nature or some shit. But, I’ve been living like this for so long that it seems I’m doomed to con-tinue. Although I realized it now, so that is encouraging. If I can do this, then it should not be hard to answer my ques-tions and doubts about my forthcoming adventure. If I am all that is in question, then I should he able to answer all. Like past experience, there is always a certain magic that some call “Fate.” Lately it hasn’t been as evident, or perhaps I am just more ignorant of it, but I know that I’ll end up somewhere for some reason or no reason, but with some answers or at least be a little clearer on why I am and what I am aiming to do or what I am gonna do or just “do.” If this fate is negative, that isn’t negative because that is what hap-pened and that then was the fate. I only wish that I could have more confidence and try to forget all my silly precon-ceptions, misconceptions, and just live. Just live. Just. Live. Just live till I die.

Today we got to Interstate State Park and camped and met people and sold T-shirts. Tripped. Met people going to see the Grateful Dead in Minnesota. The Grateful Dead in Minnesota! We’re going to see the Grateful Dead!

I found a tree in this park that I’m gonna come back to, someday. It stretches sideways out over the St. Croix river and I can sit on it and balance lying on it perfectly.

– Keith Haring

Journals

The originals can be found here:

http://keithharing.tumblr.com/

For more information about the work of Keith Haring, do not hesitate to visit Artsy’s page about this awesome artist.

https://www.artsy.net/artist/keith-haring

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